Two wrongs don't make a right, and all that jazz. Needless to say, my "fall back" approach did nothing to improve the relationship. Up to that point I had exercised radio silence to keep the peace; I tried politely explaining that he was ripping my guts out with some of his behaviors; I tried counseling, and I tried pulling back. There were only two things left to try.

I told him the unabashed truth about my feelings on everything. My graduation, his unemployment, the strippers, the midnight text messages to "business associates," the $300 monthly parties he was throwing ... the works. Things went from bad to worse. We replaced discussions with screaming sessions, and then we stopped speaking all together. At the same time, Caleb stopped eating.

I had tried everything but divorce, and I was fully prepared to take the leap. We formally separated and each began speaking with lawyers. In order to maintain some stability for Caleb, J moved out of our home. We began focusing on Caleb's eating disorder. It was the only place in our relationship where civility still thrived.

To this day, Caleb's progress and challenges are all we can talk about without sparks flying.

John and I were formally divorced last month. It was a very difficult decision to make for a number of reasons. For one, I recently lost my father to a heart attack. He had been dead for more than a month before his body was found. (Note that I was fired from one of my 3 jobs for going to NY to bury my father.) My mother has two progressive diseases: congenital heart failure and Lupus. Now I was also losing my husband.

I anticipated that I would soon be totally alone...and for the rest of my life. Parents are irreplaceable, and how could I trust that any other person would love my son like his own? If I had to choose, I would pick Caleb's happiness over my own everyday and twice on Sunday. He is my family. I had to be strong enough to make the right decision for him.

I contacted a paralegal who would file the divorce paperwork at a reduced cost and found another place to live. I asked for nothing in the settlement (child support, however, is not up for negotiation. The state requires that a child support agreement is reached in order to dissolve a marriage). In fact, I left John with my furniture, with the washer and dryer, and a multitude of other items that I would have to replace. I took only my clothing and Caleb's bedroom furniture.

The divorce was finalized last month. I cried. John got sick. Caleb was notably solemn that day.